The secret diaries of Detective Jane Rizzoli
by TheSwansonCode
Summary: A story inspired by wishful thinking about season 5. Ladies, I give you...the Rizzles! Oh and, I don't own these characters.JTam, you lucky bastard.
1. Chapter 1

First page of the diary:

**I am only doing this 'cause the stupid shrink from the precinct made me do it. Something about "dealing with my feelings" , some kind of anger management. I wasn't listening, I was too pissed. It's all just a pile of crap. So here we go. This is easy. Just write words. It's supposed to make you feel better. More relaxed. Gosh, I'm goanna need a beer. Or six . Hey, I did a whole paragraph, guess I'm good at this after all.**

**(09.05.2013) **

_Friday morning, office _

So I got a new partner today, he seems ok. Of course, no one will ever fill Frost's shoes. God how I miss that man. So this new guys's name is David, just got transferred from vice. Maybe a bit too young for homicide, but he seems bright so I guess he'll learn the basics real quick. He also has 3 dogs so I see a 'bromance' (not in a gay way) happening between him and Corsac.

_Lunch time, the docks _

Missed lunch, case of a dead prostitute in the water

_7 P.M, Maura's office_

Bored. So bored. Waiting for Maura to choose a dress for our dinner at that "what's it called" new French restaurant near Beacon. I really don't get it, she looks drop dead gorgeous in both of them. The little black one makes her look so magically beautiful and sophisticated that puts Audrey Hepburn to shame. And the red one makes her look like…well… sex on a stick, I mean, those legs. God, she's changing again, for the 5th time! That is it, I'm going, screw this!

_15 minutes later, Maura's office_

Still waiting. Jane Rizzoli, you have No dignity.

_03.40_

That tird bottle was really 's bed smeels like daissies .She's snoring , but its all ok , I Still loooove her.

**(09.06.2013)**

**Saturday morning, office.**

I really hope I die soon, worst hangover ever. And I must work today. I fell like I was raped by a gang of chimpanzees on ecstasy. My head is about to explode. David brought me a cup of coffee, that was really sweet of him. I think I'm really starting to like this guy. On another note, I look like shit, my suit is all wrinkled, 'cause I had to crash at Maura's last night, my hear smells so weird, Maura's hand cream ended up in there somehow, and my neck is red, it's probably a rash or something. Or not, I have problems remembering stuff from last night. Note to self, ask Maura later

_11 A.M._

Weirdest thing happened, I went down to the morgue to see Maura, and David was there. They were talking and smiling at each other. They actually look cute together, both blond and well dressed. He's really tall, very handsome, in Ryan Gosling kind of way (if you're into that type).I think they were flirting with eachother.

_11.45_

I THINK I HATE DAVID.I WANT TO TRIM HIS STUPID HAIR WITH A CHAINSAW.

_12.00_

His breathing is so annoying. And his eyebrows are weird. And somehow, after only one day, he got my mother to act like Marie from Everybody loves Raymond, patting his head and feeding him like all the time. WHAT A DICK!

_14.00_

Just got back from Maura's office. We had a talk that kinda looked like this:

**Me**: Maura, do you remember what happened with my neck last night? It's really red, I think it might be some kind of a rash.

**Maura**: Let me take a look

(5 minutes of swabbing, analyzing and science blah blah blah something later)

**Me**: And?

**Maura**: It's definitely not a rash.

(weird pause)

**Me**: So what is it ?

(weird pause)

**Muara**: It's…my lipstick .It's waterproof so there are still traces of it on your skin, you tried to wash it off , aggressively, which made the mark even more red

**Me**: Well how did your lipstick end up on my neck?

**Maura**: My guess is, in the cab. We were very intoxicated, falling on each other and singing through an opened window.

**Me**: What did we sing?

**Maura**: I kissed a girl by Katy Perry.

**Me**: But I don't even know the lyrics.

**Maura**: Yeah…me neither.

**Me**: God we were so wasted, we should really stop drinking that much. How about next Friday we go to the movies instead?

**Maura**: Actually…I...I have a date next Friday.

Me: Oh, a date?

**Maura**: Yes, a date.

Me: With who?

**Maura**: Jane, it is 'with whom'.

**Me**: Oh come on!

**Maura**: Jane, grammar rules are very important, just imag…

**Me**: Maura!

**Maura**: Right. I have a date with detective David.

**Me**: With that dick?

**Maura**: Jane! Why would you say such a thing about him?

**Me**: Hallo! Have you seen his eyebrows?

**Maura**: What?

**Me**: Nothing. Forget it, I'm sure he's a nice guy.

**Maura**: He really is. And he has a great sense of humor. And he…

**Me**: Right, yes, well, I have to go now, I got tone of work, so…

**Maura**: What? Just 5 minutes ago you said that you are free and we can go for lunch. Jane, what is going on?

**Me**: Nothing, God, what is with you today woman, pms-ing much? Jesus!

**Maura**: Wha…

**Me**: I'm off, and remember… he's a dick!

**Maura**: Stop saying that word!

**Me**(from the hallway): DICK,DICK,DICK!

_07 P.M My apartment_

Drinking beer on the sofa, feet on the coffee table, watching a show called 'Lost girl'. Why the hell did I loose it today with Maura? Why do I find the idea of Maura and David so annoying? And why are the succubus and the doctor kissing? Oh…Oooooohhh, right. Cause they are two gay women, and there is nothing wrong with that. It's actually a pretty good show, I should tell Maura about it. Maura. Wait…Oh shit…Am I…I mean, when you think about it….OH MY FUCKING GOD, I'M GAY FOR MAURA. God damn it stupid diary, it's all your fault!


	2. Chapter 2

(09.07.2013) Sunday afternoon, apartment

Dear Diary, I've decided to call you Colt, 'cause writing Dear Diary seems kinda gay (and yes, I see the irony). So …I'm gay. I mean, I think I am. How am I supposed to know? Does being in love with your best friend (who happens to be a woman) makes you gay? Maybe "in love" is a bit too strong, maybe I just really really love her in a totally straight way. It's not like I imagined her naked or something. I did have those weird dreams, but that was because of the Merlot. I think. And besides, I have seen her naked many times in the shower at the gym. And my God, she looks divine. I mean her body is like a work of art, just like those Greek statues we saw in that documentary. She has the perfect curves, and her skin is so so white and silky and in the moonlight it glows and…Ok, so I guess it is sexual. But in a straight way somehow. I can't be gay, I've been straight my whole life, how can this be? Maybe I'm just Muarasexual? I need some answers.

2 hours later

Weirdest thing happened. I went to the bookshop, to get some information. I bought "Sexual fluidity", "Am I really gay?" and something about oranges. And as I was pulling out my credit card, this:

**Cashier**: Oh honey, you don't need those.

**Me**: Why? Are they bad?

**Cashier**: No, I mean you're gay sweetie.

**Me**: Excuse me? That the hell?

**Cashier**: Look, I don't mean to be rude or somethin, I just don't want you buying this crap when you don't really need it.

**Me**: Uhm, you work here, don't you? You are supposed to SELL books.

**Cashier**: Oh chill, I slept with the manager on my first day, it's all good. Look, I see you're confused, and all scared, like… a little gay Bambi. But you shouldn't be, just follow your heart. It's going to be fine, believe in your self.

**Me**: I'm sorry, but why are you assuming that I'm gay?

**Cashier**: Well, you are in this bookshop buying books about lady lovin', and also, I have eyes. And ears, seriously, I'm like 86% straight, but that voice, it's like my panties want to come off all on their own.

**Me**: Thanks… I guess. Can I have my books now?

**Cashier**: Fine, here. But my advice to you is, go get your self a woman, woman. And some porn. If I remember college correctly, those things are complicated as hell, you're goanna need as much info as you can get.

**Me**: What are you talking about?

**Cashier**: Vaginas. You know, we all had those "We are so drunk, we should totally make out and see where it goes" moments with our roommates. You know.

**Me**: Really? People do that in college?

**Cashier**: Oh sweet Bambi. Maybe you should read these. Here's your receipt. I wish you luck, I really hope you find all the answers, and that one special lady of course.

**Me**: Thanks. That's really sweet of you.

**Cashier**: And remember, don't be scared. They just look weird.

**Me**: They?

**Cashier**: Vaginas

**Me**: Oh Christ, Bye!

I'll just read the stupid books tonight and maybe have a couple of bears, watch a game. And maybe, just maybe, porn, but only for science. To prove that psycho from the bookshop she was wrong.

8.30 P.M.

Ha! Not gay! I read first part of the "Am I really gay", and, I don't like cats, I don't find that Shane person attractive, ergo, I'm not gay! My clothes are not gay, they just need to be that way, for work. And baseball and beer are also not gay because…they're not. Maura (my best friend!) called, I'm off to pick her up, we're going ice skating tonight. I honestly don't now how she talked me into doing that, skating without hockey sticks is lame. Talk to you later Colt.

00.45 A.M

It was amazing. Ice skating is actually pretty cool. The lights were dim because of the disco ball and hundreds of small red light bulbs on the ceiling, they played love songs from the '80, Maura was holding my hand the whole time because it was a bit crowded so she was afraid she might fall down. We had so much fun, laughing, singing, while holding on to each other tightly. .She never actually went skating with anyone her whole life. Always on her own, among happy couples. Just like going to the movies, days you have the flu, Christmas. Alone. When she told me that, with a sad look in her eyes, I felt pain in my chest. Literal pain, caused by so many things.

Anger, because I always get pissed when I see Maura with that look in her eyes, pissed at stupid people, pissed at the entire world, because it let Maura be unhappy, even for a second. How can you exist in her presence and not have the urge to do anything just to make her smile. I didn't say anything, I just gave her my "Rizzoli special", puppy eyes filled with tiny sparkles that only Maura gets to see. Great thing about Maura and me is that we know each other so well that sometimes we don't even need words in order to say so many things. We just look in to each others eyes. And there it is. The love. The trust. The support. The understanding. The "I even like it when we fight like an old married couple cause you made me do something I hate doing, like guessing, or eating kale".

It was a beautiful night, we went for a walk afterwards through the park. Maura was looking at the sky, talking about constellations , and a was reading our horoscopes from the stars. And then she smiled at me and said "I think we're a match".

Dear Colt, I don't know about the gay thing, but there is something I definitely know, I am head over heels in love with Maura Isles, my best friend.

God damn it!


	3. Chapter 3

**(09.08.2013) **_Office, 11.45 A.M._

Ok, so maybe, just maybe I have a problem with anger management. This morning, when I entered the precinct, I saw Maura and (dick!) David talking in front of the elevator. They were laughing and she touched his arm for a brief moment. My first instinct was to pull out my gun and shoot him in the face. But, since I am a civilized human being, I slowly approached and wished them a good morning with a bright smile on my face. Stupid elevator just wouldn't come down so we had to wait for about 15 seconds. Pure torture. They were talking about their date next Friday. I was trying to stay calm by making a list of "5 most awesome ways to brake David's teeth" in my mind. As I was on number 3, the elevator doors finally opened.

Being in an elevator with your love interest and your love interest's love interest is not a pleasant experience, ask anyone. When we got out , she asked me if I can come by her office later. It took me 2 seconds to realize that she wants to talk about her crush on David. As I'm, I must repeat, a civilized human being, and also, a dedicated friend, I said "Sure". Even do, I wanted to say "Forget about him, he's a dick, let's run away and live like Tarzan and Jane (nice one Jane) in the jungles of Amazon"

When I finished reading a pile of files and looking at pictures and pictures of missing persons I went to see Maura. And as I expected…

**Maura**: Jane, what do you think about David?

**Me**: I…think he's wonderful. A…fine young man.

**Maura**: Really? You act rather strange when you're around him.

**Me**: What? No I don't!

**Maura**: Your face twitches and you just can't keep your hands still.

**Me**: It's…because I've been constipated lately.

**Maura**: Jane, I know every single meal you eat during the day. Even the ones

you don't know I know about. There is no chance you're constipated.

**Me**: Maura sweetie, that's highly disturbing.

**Maura**: Jane, just tell me. You don't like him, is that it? I know I made some

bad choices in the past, but I really have a good feeling about David. I know

you're just trying to protect me, and I love you for that, but I honestly believe

there is no need to be worried this time. David is different.

And that was a moment of revelation. Maura was right, David was different and that was the problem. I hated the douches Maura used to date because, well, they were douches and I wanted to make sure she knows just how big assholes they were. I was ready to do anything to protect her from getting hurt. But this time, I was the asshole. David is a really nice guy, sweet, and he respects Maura. And I hate him. Because I know he could make her happy. Which makes me a huge asshole, and a terrible friend

**Me**: Maura, I…yes, you're right, I'm just being overprotective. David is a

great guy, he really is.

**Maura**: Jane, you don't need to worry. This, between you and me, is the most

important relationship in my life, and it always will be. And no man could ever

jeopardize that. We will always be best friends, and that will never change.

I wanted to say "That's the problem Maura, we will always be friends, just good friends"

Suddenly my phone started ringing so I just mumbled "Got to go" and stormed out. As I was approaching the elevator I noticed my eyes were filled with tears. I felt so numb, disorientated. I had to do something, find some kind of relief. So I did the stupidest thing.

When I returned to my desk, I saw David searching through his jacket. When I asked him what's wrong, he told me that he can't find the evidence bag from the crime scene we did that morning. And that is were snapped.

I screamed, I yelled, I called him names. For about ten minutes. His face turned red, he wanted to run, but I stopped him. And yelled some more. With the entire precinct watching. No one moved a muscle, I think they were too afraid, I must have looked like a raging bull. Luckily, Corsack showed up and forced me to go outside to cool off. When I returned, David wasn't there. He went home. They say he cried. Cavanaugh is expecting me in five minutes. I think he's going to chop off my head. Can this day get any worse?

**Dear Janie, it's your mother. Corsak came to the café and told me what happened so I went looking for you. They told me you were at Cavanaugh's. I wanted to leave you some chocolate cookies and cup of coffee on your desk to make you feel better. I accidentally spilled some of the coffee on this book, I panicked and opened it. When I realized it's your diary I put it right back. But then I opened it again. Sweetie I am your mother, I was worried about what happened with David so I just wanted to see what might have caused it. So I read it. Don't be mad sweetie, I was just trying to help. I'm here for you Janie, whenever you're ready to talk, I am your mother, and I understand and I will love you no matter what. And sweetie, Gay is ok!**

**2 P.M.** _Dirty robber_

Dear Colt, as you already know, we have been invaded by my mother. She knows I'm in love with Maura. I got suspended, I'm not aloud to come near the station for a week. Maura probably wants to kill me, she tried calling me 16 times. It's 2. P.M. and I'm already drinking bourbon. Colt you are my only friend right now. So tell me, how the hell did this happen?

**3.20 P.M.** _Apartment_

I am so drunk. Mr. Bourbon is such a good friend. He makes me happy and he doesn't judge. I think we a might a start a serious relationship. Who needs people anyway.

**4.15. P.M**

Crap, Maura texted me, she's coming over. Wish me luck Colt, I'm goanna need it.


	4. Chapter 4

**(09.09.2013)** 10.15 A.M. _Crema cafe, Brattle street_

In normal circumstances, I would probably be begging Cavanaugh on my knees (more likely arguing very loudly, but you get the point) to call of the suspension. But since my life turned into a huge mess these past couple of days, I actually feel good about having a few days off, there is so much stuff to figure out. First, what the hell happened last night?

When Maura came over I was super drunk. Like a Russian person on a very cold day. While I was waiting for her to arrive I was very nervous, so I just wanted to take the edge off, but it got out of hand, so I had a bit too much bourbon. I found the bottle in the shower this morning. Also I was wearing boxer shorts and a tee shirt that says "I'm not Irish, but kiss me anyway".

When she saw me, she realized that having an argument was not an option so she just stood at the door looking at me. I could see she was worried sick.

**Me**: Before you say anything, I just want you to now that I called David

and apologized like 10 times.

Then I set on the sofa with my feet on the coffee table, taking a huge sip of bourbon and waiting for her to start accusing me of being a bitch to her precious David. But she didn't. She set next to me and took my hand.

**Maura**: I didn't come here to talk about David, I came here to talk about

you. Jane, what happened today? Please talk to me.

As I was trying to figure out how to get out of this one, the bourbon took over my body and started talking.

**Me**: I just, I have these feelings Maura, you know. So many feelings.

And I don't know what to do about them.

Then I started seeing Maura double. The entire apartment was spinning

**Maura**: Jane, what kind of feelings?

**Me** I...I've been thinking about...I...

And then it hit me, how did I not think of that sooner?

**Me**: I'm in... It's PTSD!. Yes, it's PTSD. I...was very scared today

because...David's shirt, it reminded me of...Hoyt. Hoyt was wearing

a similar shirt once and I got an anxiety attack and started yelling

at David. It was awful.

**Maura**: Oh Jane, I...

**Me**: I can't talk about it Maura, it still hurts, you know. I'm thinking

about going to therapy actually.

**Maura**: Jane...

And then she hugged me. It was the warmest hug ever. Suddenly I felt relief cause I dodged the bullet.

**Me**: Can we just, I don't feel like talking tonight, can we just

order pizza and watch some TV?

**Maura:** Of course. Anything. I just want you to feel safe. And I will do

everything you want me to.

God how much I love this woman. It's beyond words. So Maura ordered the pizza, and I've put on the 'Lost girl' DVD I got the other day. And then, as we were sitting on the sofa, covered with a blanket...

**Maura**: This show is horrible.

**Me**: What, what are you talking about, it's a great show.

**Maura**: Well, who ever wrote this did not know a single thing about

history or metaphysics, it is...

And then she went on and on about science and stuff. Wasn't really listening. Wasn't even watching the show. I was watching her. The nerdy Maura. My favorite kind.

**Maura**:..and that is why it is impossible for him to be wearing that kind

of armor, when it's obviously from the 15th century. But I like the sexual

fluidity in this show. I was always against the idea of labels.

It's very unnatural. Did you know that many animal species are

bisexual?

For the fist time in my life I, Jane Rizzoli, was speechless. You just can not sit that close to me, wearing that perfume, looking that gorgeous and talk about sexual fluidity.

**Me**: I...did not know that.

**Maura**: Jane, why are your cheeks so red?

**Me**:...cause, it's hot in here. Very hot. I should probably open a

window or something...

**Maura**: Jane, is this subject making you uncomfortable?

**Me**: What? No, of course not. Sex...is awesome. You know.

**Maura**:What?

**Me**: Nothing, can we just watch the show?

Huge mistake. Huuuuge. Like 5 second after that, a sex scene was on the screen. Hot sweaty sex between two beautiful women. One was a badass brunette and the other one was blond. Oh and also a DOCTOR. .I literally opened my mouth and started drooling.

**Maura**: Jane, are you...aroused right now?

**Me**: What?

**Maura**: Well, you look...you know, it's perfectly normal, every

woman experiences it at least once. It mostly happens in college,

because your adolescence actually lasts until the age of 26 and...

**Me**: Hey! I'm not experiencing anything, I was just looking at the...

Wait, did you... uhm...

**Maura**: Did I what?

**Me**: Did you have an experience...like this one?

As I pointed out to the screen, those two were still doing it. I'm pretty sure they had 8 orgasms already. But it's not like I was counting or anything.

**Maura**: Yes, I did have sex with a woman. She was an exchanged

student from Greece. It lasted one semester.

**Me**: Wow, so it was a relationship then?

**Maura**: Yes, I suppose you could say that.

**Me**: How come you never talked about her? I mean, we talk about

almost everything.

**Maura**:. Well, I...I was afraid that you would think, I mean, it's a

bit awkward and...

**Me**: Com on Maura, it's me, hey, you can talk to me about

anything, you know I would always understand, no matter

what.

**Maura**: But Jane, it's...you don't understand. It's weird, and I

don't know how to explain, really...

**Me**: Explain what?

Maura suddenly stood up, took a piece of paper out of her bag and wrote something on it. She handed me the paper and said. "This is her name", and then stormed out. I was completely clueless about what just happened. I took my laptop and googled the name. Anna Christidakis. She was a professor at the University of Iraklio, and some kind of a genius, just like Maura. And then I saw her picture. If I had a twin sister, she would look just like her. The eyes, the hair, the tan, the height. There were some differences of course, but she was definitely a Greek version of me.

So, ten years ago Maura dated a woman. Who looks just like me. Yes Colt, I know what you're thinking. Exactly.

WHAT!THE!HELL?!


	5. Chapter 5

**(09.10.2013)** _5:10 P.M. Langone Park_

Enjoying fresh salty air and a cup of coffee for the first time in ages. Peace and tranquility. I am one with the nature. So what if I happened to be in love with Maura, who is in love in David, and also dated a woman who looks just like me, 10 years ago.

Just be calm, and positive, you will find the solution to this absurd situation. Bunnies, rainbows, penguins in tuxedos. Bunnies, rainbows, penguins in tuxedos.

On another note. I discovered today that women find me extremely attractive. I know! I was shocked too. I was at the gym, punching the bag, wearing black shorts and a black sports bra, sweating a lot, you know, the usual. And then, I've noticed a really hot brunette standing about 10 feet away looking at me. About a week ago, I probably wouldn't pay any attention and would just continue working about, but now, I was a bit curious. For science of course.

When I looked in her direction again, our eyes met. And then she started checking me out, every single inch of my body, with desire in her eyes, mixed with shyness at the same time. Oh how I smirked. The same scenario happened also with two blonds and a redhead. At first I felt awkward, I mean, I wasn't exactly used to this kind of attention. Aldo it probably was there the whole time, I just didn't see it. Why? Because I'm always at the gym with Maura, looking at Maura, talking to Maura, totally blind for what's surrounding me. So I decided to do a little experiment, I approached the brunette very slowly, with huge amount of swag, looking deeply into her eyes the whole time and said...

**Me**: Jane.

**The brunette**: I'm...excuse me.

And then she ran to the bathroom. What the hell? She came back after a minute looking all flushed.

**Me**: I'm sorry, are you ok?

I smiled at her and put a hand on her back. She jumped like I used a stunt gun on her.

**The brunette**: Yeah, yeah, I'm OK, don't worry. God, your cheek bones...

And then she touched them.

**The brunette**: You are...I wanna have your babies. Oh God. Oh God! Why did I just say that?!

Look, I have a boyfriend, and...Oh, you smell so good, and

...What is happening to me? Make it stop!

**Me**: I'm ...not doing anything. I'm just standing here. 2 feet away from you.

**The brunette**. : Look, I'm sorry, I'm just, I don't know. I've been looking

at you for months, I just can't get my eyes off of you, there's something

about you. I should go, cause if you continue looking at me with those big

brown eyes, I just might faint. So, have a nice day.

**Me**: Hey, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to...

**The brunette**: Oh screw it!

And then she kissed me. And then she screamed. It was a very short kiss, very innocent, but it was overwhelming cause it was my first. With a woman of course. Suddenly I felt 13 again.

**The brunette**: I'm sorry, I just had to do that. And now I'm really leaving,

before I do something drastic.

**Me**: Like what?

**The brunette** : Like check if I could take off that bra with my teeth.

**Me**:Oh..

**The brunette**: Yeah..so...bye. And it's Amy by the way.

**Me**: Well, nice to meet you Amy.

I shook her hand and smiled. She started running towards the locker-room.

So apparently I can make a woman loose her mind without actually doing anything. Jane Rizzoli, you Stud. Gotta go, Ma is coming over around 6 to have ''the talk''. Lord have mercy.

_9.15. P.M. Apartment_

Imagine that movie My big feat Greek wedding and then multiply it by 10000. That is my family. When I entered my apartment, Ma was there, with Frankie and Tommy. And a huge banner on the wall. With a rainbow on it. There were small rainbow flags all over the apartment. And they just stood there smiling

**Me**: *facepalm*

And then they all approached me and made me do a group hug. A group hug!

**Me**: Ma! What the hell? Are you out of your mind?! And what in the

God's name are Tommy and Frankie doing here?! And where

on earth did you get this gigantic banner?!

**Frankie**: Hey, don't yell at Ma, she's just trying to help!

**Me**: Are you trying to get your ass kicked, ?!

**Tommy**: Hey, it took me 4 hours of driving to get the banner, you could

be more thankful you know!

**Me**: That's it, everybody out, now!

**Frankie**: Hey, It's not fair to Ma...

And it went on and on, with shoving, pocking, smacking, just like Sunday dinners we have every week.

**Ma**: Stop it! All of you! Sit! I can't stand when my children fight,

you should be protecting each other, not fight all the time!

**Frankie, Tommy, Me**: Sorry Ma.

**Ma**: All right now,. Jane you're probably wondering why are we all here.

**Me**: Jee, you think?!

**Ma**: Jane!

**Me**: Sorry

**Ma**: Ever since your father, that traitorous piece of...

**Frankie, Tommy Me**: Ma!

**Ma**: Ever since your father left, I was afraid that that might live scars. I was afraid that you kids would stop

believing in marriage, in love.

So the day your father packed his bags and left our house I swore that I

would do anything, and I mean anything , to make sure that you kids end up

having a family. A happy one. The kind that never breaks apart. The kind

where everybody loves each other no matter what. The kind that we have.

Minus your father, that son of a...

**Frankie, Tommy, Me**: Ma!

**Ma**: All right, all right. Janie, I failed.. Tommy's family is broken, he sees

T.J. only on weekends. Frankie hasn't had a girlfriend in ages. Probably

cause he's on the phone talking to Frost in Washington all the time.

Seriously, what is wrong with you two?

**Frankie**: Hey, we talk about girls, and...We're here to talk about Jane!

**Me**: Thanks little brother!

**Ma:** Enough! Janie, you are my only hope. If you are gay, then I say good!

Sweetie, you have our support 100 %. Finding a soul mate is not easy.

Relationships aren't easy to. Biggest challenge in a person's life is finding

that one person to grow old with. And I think that we can all agree that you

already found yours. It's Maura.

I hugged her. And started crying.. I have the greatest mother in the whole world. And I honestly don't know what else to say, cause I might start crying again. She's just...My Ma. But there is just one problem. This was her next sentence:

**Ma**: So starting tomorrow, we are starting operation ''Rizzles''

**Me**:A what now?

**Ma**: It's Rizzoli plus Isles. Frankie thought of that, isn't it brilliant?

Tommy, Frankie, Corsak and I are teaming up. We are going to help you

get your girl Jane!

**Me**: You...You ...told Corsak? Are you out of your mind!?

**Ma**: Hey...I got stretch marks for you!

**Me**: Yeah, Yeah, I know, but Ma, you can't just...

**Ma**: Jane, I just want a spring wedding and two more

grandchildren, now is that too much to ask?!

Dear Colt, I have nothing else to say. Except ''Rizzles'' does sound awesome


	6. Chapter 6

**(09.11.2013)** _11.00 P.M Maura's house_

Yes, I know what you're thinking, what I am I doing at Maura's while she's at work?Well, last night, we went to a rave. Yes, a rave. And why? Let's see. Last night, when my insane family started reading PFLAG pamphlets and planning a visit to next year's Pride parade with my Mom's friend Fran DiMateo who's son came out last Christmas (which gave nonna DiMateo a stroke) I simply had to get away from there. And I took you with me Colt, 'cause nothing is sacred to my mother. You spent the night in my car, hidden under a spare tire. I got into my car and started driving around the city. After 30 minutes, I somehow, driven by my sub conscience probably, ended up in Maura's street. And I decided what the hell, I might as well have the most awkward talk ever with Maura, the day has been shitty already. So I parked the car, went to the door and rang...

**Maura**: Jane! What are you doing here, I thought you were seeing your mother tonight?

**Jane**: I was. But I had to leave, 'cause my mother is...you know, my mother.

**Maura**: Come in.

We set on the sofa, with a bottle of wine, like always. But this time, it was a bit weird, because of the conversation we had the previous night. About what happened 10 years ago. And for the first time in the history of our friendship, there was an awkward pause.

**Maura**: Jane, we should probably...

**Jane**: Look, Maura, we don't have to talk about it. Let's just shove this one under the rug for now OK?

**Maura**: That is the worst idea ever Jane, we really need to talk.

**Jane**: Fine. But tomorrow. I promise.

**Maura**: So, what are we going to do tonight?

**Jane**: I don't know, drop some acid, go to a rave.

**Maura**: What?!

**Jane**: It was a joke Maura, relax. I thought we could go see a movie, or...

**Maura**: Let's do it.

**Jane**: OK, but I get to choose the movie this time, no more independent Norwegian films!

**Maura**: No, I mean the rave.

**Jane**: What?

**Maura**: Well, we always say we should try something new.

**Jane**: I know, but rave, really?! I mean where do you even find a rave party? On a Thursday night?

**Maura**: Well, actually, I have a list of clubs in my computer. Cause, you know, you never know.

**Jane**: So you have been planning this?

**Maura**: Well, I wouldn't exactly say planning. It was just an idea. I mean you're right, it's stupid, let's just go to the

movies.

**Jane**: No no no, let's do it.

**Maura**: Are you sure?

**Me**: Positive. I'm dying to see you dance.

**Maura**: But you saw me dance many times.

**Me**: Yes but not to this kind of music.

**Maura**: Well, I do not intend to ''twerk'' or anything, I would simply like to attend such an event, it should be very

interesting, from the anthropological point of view.

**Me**: Right.

Yes, she actually said twerk. I'm not even sure she knows what it means. Oh my sweet nerd.

So we went to this club called 'The Shanty'. And it was awful. The music was too loud (and horrible), it was too hot, everyone was at least 7 years younger than us, and on something. I got offered several types of pills, and even a box of Advil. It took me 15 minutes to get to the bar, take drinks and come back to where we were standing. But Maura wasn't there. Like she disappeared. I got pissed , I was afraid someone roofied her and took her away. But no. She was fine.

I saw her across the room, dancing on a table, in her golden, very short, very tight, dress. Covered in body paint, doing three shots in a row. Jumping up and down, her hair, her beautiful golden locks also jumping, her cleavage...also. I somehow managed to get to her, I tried to get her off the table, but she wouldn't come down.I pulled her hand and she started dancing even harder, with all eyes in the club stuck on her body. After a while, I got really pissed, grabbed her by the knees and carried her out on my shoulder yelling "DEA, get out of the way''. The intoxicated crowd spread like the red sea. I managed to get out in the back alley. Maura was wasted, laughing hysterically, tripping over and holding on to my belt. I grabbed her in order to stop her from falling. She pushed her body against mine, with her arms around my neck.

**Me**: Uhm, Maura...

**Maura**: Would you smell my breath? I'm not sure, was that tequila? Or was

it vodka. No, it was gin. Can you feel it? It's an earthquake!

**Me**: No, you're just drunk. Now com on!

I managed to get out of her embrace, grabbed her waist and started moving towards the street, but she stopped, end got us back in the same position. But this time, with much less space between us. Her face was inches away from mine. She was smiling, looking at me, completely drunk, like she doesn't even know where she is.

**Maura**: Wow, this is just like the dream.

**Me**: What dream?

**Maura**: I had a dream. About us making out in a Jacuzzi in Rome.

**Me**: Uhm, this is nothing like your dream. You're drunk, in a back alley behind The Shanty, and I'm holding you so

you wouldn't hit the ground.

**Maura**: Is that so?

**Me**: Yes.

**Maura**: Then why am I kissing you?

**Me**: But you're not kissing me.

**Maura**: Am I?

She kissed me, gently at first. And then it got heated. Her tong was suddenly in my mouth, she was grabbing my shirt, and making all kinds of sounds. Kinds that did strange things to certain parts of my body. I managed, God knows how, to pull away.

**Me**: Maura, what the hell are you doing?!

**Maura**: It' not me, it's the earthquake.

**Me**: There is no earthquake!

**Maura**: Oh my God, Jane, yes!

**Me**: What?

**Maura**: Come.

She started walking, hit the wall on one or two occasions, while taking off her shoes. I followed her, and we got to my car. She pushed me on the hood and straddled me. We started kissing passionately, with my hands on her hips. It was crazy. Didn't even notice when it started to rain. We were all over each other. Next thing I know, we're in my car and she's...sleeping. Yup, she fell asleep. So we got home, I've put her to bed and she slept till the morning. I spent the night thinking about what happened, and smelling my shirt, 'cause her perfume was all over it. And also, her lipstick. She left this morning at 07:30, I was pretending to be asleep. She left me a note in the kitchen saying "I'm not sorry". I'm meeting her for lunch in an hour. Wish me luck Colt, this is it.


	7. Chapter 7

**(09.12.2013) ** _12 A.M Maura's bed_

We had sex. Yup, me and Maura. Sex. A lot of it. We started yesterday around 7 P.M. and finished around 3 A.M. due to exhaustion. Maura's, not mine, I was ready to go till the sunlight. It was like throwing a firecracker in a barrel of gasoline. My entire body hurts, I got scratch marks on my back, I dislocated my shoulder at one point (but kept going) and I got wax on my stomach. It was magical. 

We met for lunch yesterday, to have the talk. I've never been so scared in my life, because, there is no way back. It was all or nothing. Lovers or best friends who cannot be friends anymore because of...well, a lot of reasons. We set at the table, facing each other, like in a game of chess. I wasn't ready to make the first move, but luckily she was. 

**Maura**: I do not regret anything.

**Me**: Are you sure?

**Maura**: Yes. Actually, no.

**Me**: Oh...

**Maura**: I regret falling asleep in your car.

**Me**:(*khm*) I see.

**Maura**: I wanted...Jane, what happened last night wasn't accidental. I wanted it to happen for a long time, and

alcohol was just a catalyst.

**Me**: A what?

**Maura**: It speeded things up. Jane, you are my best friend, my soul mate, my, well, everything. This friendship we

have, it's much more than anything I've ever had in a romantic relationship. Actually, the only difference between

our friendship and a romantic relationship is the lack of sex. So last night I wanted to see if we're compatible.

**Me**: If we're compatible? Really?!

**Maura**: What I mean is... I just wanted to see if we could have it all. The whole package, as they say.

**Me**: And?

**Maura**: Well, technically, we did not have sex. We just "made out". And I must say, you are a very, very good kisser

Jane Rizzoli.

**Me**: Well...you know.( *blushing*)

**Maura**: So I was thinking, maybe tonight we could...test my hypothesis.

**Me**: Ok, enough with the science talk. Just say it.

**Maura**: Say what?

**Me**: Maura.

**Maura**: Fine. I think we should have sex.

**Me**: Don't you think we should talk first? I mean, this is a huge step. And what about David?

**Maura**: That was also a hypothesis.

**Me**: Jesus Christ woman!

**Maura**: David is the most amazing guy I have ever met. He really is. And still, I would rather spend the night with

you, in front of the TV. Even if a game is on, and you're yelling at the referee and spilling beer on my sofa. And that

says a lot, because I really like my sofa. Jane, you will always be more important then anyone else. Always.

**Me**: I...don't know what to say.

**Maura**: Off course, you need time...

**Me**: No, I mean, I don't know how to say it. Maura...I'm...in love with you.

**Maura**: Oh, I know that.

**Me**: What?!

**Maura:** Your mother told me. And Frankie. And Corsak. And Frost called from D.C. to tell me that.

**Me**: I...

**Maura**: I'm in love with you too. And you need to go now.

**Me**: Why?

**Maura**: We need champagne, strawberries, a Barry White CD and a lots of candles for tonight, you need to go

shopping.

**Me**: But I thought you always have those things at your house.

**Maura**: Well, yes, but your mother has a very intense sex life so...

**Me**: Maura! No! That is my MOTHER!

**Maura**: Jane, you need to accept the fact that your mother is a sexual...

**Me**: No! (*fingers in both ears*) lalalallalallalalala

**Maura**: Fine. I need to get back to the lab. I'll see you tonight.. Wear something black. 

I expected tender love making. But, it wasn't. I mean, it definitely was love making, but of a different kind.

I was in her bedroom when she got home. The lights were off, there were candles everywhere, I covered the bed with rose petals and played the "Best of Frank Sinatra" CD (I hate Barry White, remands me of '70 porn). I was standing by the bed when she entered the room. She looked so beautiful. And happy. She smiled, approached me, and whispered slowly into my ear "Jane, I want you to do me on the floor, in the shower, on the kitchen table, on the sofa, then again in the shower. Not necessarily in that order."5 seconds later, we are on the floor, ripping each others clothes, kissing, moaning, biting. It was overwhelming. Then we moved to the bed and got completely naked. Her legs around my waist. My fingers inside of her. Her nails scratching the skin on my back. My lips on her neck. It was heaven. And we did it again, and again, and again. And again. Till 3 in the morning. 

I'm lying in her bed, naked, covered with her scent. And thinking to myself, my mother probably heard all the screaming last night. But I don't even care. I'm happy. 

I once asked my uncle Freddy about the meaning of true love ( just saw Bridges of Madison county, cried for 2 days). He told me "Well, for me, it's simple, you meet a woman, you sleep with her and if you wake up thinking " I can picture myself doing this for the rest of my life", that's it. You see, it's not about making love, you can make love to almost anyone. It's the waking up part. There is only one woman that can make you smile in the morning, just by lying next to you." Uncle Freddy was right, when you know, you know. I guess my mother is having that spring wedding after all. Yes Colt, Rizzles is happening. I just hope my mother doesn't propose to Maura on my behalf when she realizes what happened last night. Which is probably going to happen very soon because I can hear her downstairs. 


End file.
